Life has always been a whirlwind—at times, a cacophony of thoughts and emotions that felt almost impossible to tame. Growing up, I was diagnosed with dyslexia at age seven, which led to a significant amount of support throughout my educational years. While this diagnosis provided some clarity, it never quite accounted for the constant restlessness that buzzed under my skin. It wasn’t until much later that I discovered the true source of my struggles—ADHD.
Early Struggles and Coping Mechanisms for My Mental Health
From a young age, I struggled with relaxation and focus. My parents noticed this and sought medical advice when I was just five years old. The suggestion from the doctor was Beta blockers, but my mom was hesitant to introduce such strong medication at such a tender age. Instead, we embarked on a search for alternative solutions and coping mechanisms.
Despite these efforts, my mind often felt like a train speeding at a million miles per hour. Sundays, the traditional day of rest, were particularly challenging; the idea of doing nothing was unsettling. I found solace in movement, albeit to keep the storm in my head at bay. Sitting still was never an option. I would resort to clicking pens, picking my nails, or finding ways to keep busy.
Navigating Social Challenges
Socially, I found myself in a maze. Forming friendships and engaging in conversations often felt like climbing a steep hill. I struggled to concentrate, frequently interrupting others or drifting into daydreams mid-conversation. This habit of staring off into space or losing track of the dialogue made social interactions awkward at times.
Understanding others was another hurdle—whether it was reading, listening, or face-to-face communication, processing information took longer. It often felt like everyone else was speaking a language I had yet to learn.
The Workplace Shuffle
While my work environment—a sporting one—was dynamic and active, I faced challenges there too. My need for movement sometimes led me to interrupt meetings or find reasons to leave the room. My colleagues often joked at my expense when I failed to catch a ball, but I learned to laugh along with them. The reality was that my ADHD affected my coordination, causing me to appear clumsy more often than not.
Sensory Sensations and Allergies
Sensory issues added another layer to my experiences. I developed an aversion to certain fabrics like cotton, which felt uncomfortable against my skin. Certain smells were overwhelming enough to make me want to cry, and I often needed a shower to reset my senses.
Daily life was further complicated by allergies to salmon, fabric, dust, and pollen. I rely on allergy tablets to function and ensure that our home is easy to clean to manage my symptoms.
Finding a Path Forward
My story of discovering and understanding ADHD as an adult woman is ongoing. With support from doctors and various groups, I continue to learn and adapt my life to better manage my symptoms. Through my research, I learned that ADHD can be genetic or result from brain damage, which only underscores the complexity of my experience.
I share my story in the hope that others who are struggling might find a sense of kinship and encouragement. If you’re on a similar path, know that you’re not alone, and with the right support, you can find strategies to thrive. Together, we can learn to turn the cacophony into a symphony, finding harmony in the unique rhythms of our lives.
Another great resource I find helpful is BrainMD on Tiktok, check him out here.
